It’s been ages. MONTHS. They used to pop up on my Facebook page a couple of times a week, and I loved them. I loved to celebrate, and share in the joy of these incredible families. I loved how it told women who were on the fence- come join us- it can be like THIS! The reach was always pretty good. But I’ve stopped doing it, once and for all.
What is it then? Have the clients stopped coming? Have all the birth stories been unshareable (I know that’s not a real word…)? Has what we’ve taught proven useless?
I mean, of course not. Our community of badass birthing women is growing more quickly than ever. And the births? They continue, as always, to be varied in terms of the outcomes and the ‘stuff’ that goes on. But with every report of a new baby, I am honoured as hell to hear how brilliantly the women have used what they’ve learnt. The way they tell their tales gives me ALL THE FEELS as I realise the very potent effect of our time together and their subsequent hard work embedding and embracing these life changing techniques. (I wanna say ‘tekkers’- this is a slang thing in my family, e.g., ‘nice tekkers’. Just FYI…)
So why not share? I’ve decided that it doesn’t sit right with me to describe any woman’s experience of her birth. I’ve decided that I don’t have the right to take my perspective of her strength, power, fluidity and courage, and slap that as a label on what she lived through bringing her baby earthside any which way, declaring it to the rest of the world as truth.
In birth, we transcend normal life, our normal selves. So much so that even we can struggle to articulate our own perspective of our experience until it has settled in. Even the most positive of births can be tinged with moments of regret, confusion, sadness or resentment that we need time to process. I’m not going to presume to step in and speak for them.
And there is something else- I don’t like headlines. Seemingly good or bad. I don’t like the mystery that they perpetuate about how birth is. I don’t like it when we make assumptions about how things unfolded, what came into play, the entire adventure. I can’t have that both ways- sitting in my courses explaining to couples that when they hear only ‘tearing’, ‘blood loss’, etc, their understanding is limited, and not recognise the same issue in a birth that’s only defined by the highlights.
So what I will do, from time to time, with permission, is lift their announcement words into public view if they’re totally up for it. But I’ll move the focus to the full stories. Because this is where we learn together, support each other, tear down the veil of mystery around ‘positive birth’. One of our hashtags is #positiveimperfectbirth because we wanna be SUPER CLEAR we are not flogging you a fairytale.
MOST births are in the grey- the place between what you dreamt of, and what you wanted to avoid. The difference we make to women is giving them the best possible chance of getting as close to what they want as they can, and practical steps to take when the journey deviates from it. Plus the enormous mindset shift that comes with a willingness to choose a new perspective- to rebel against the bullshit that oppresses us, and opt for self confidence and clarity. Ok I could go on- way more stuff too, but that’s not what this piece is about.
By sharing our stories in an insightful and empowered way (ie- not mindless scaremongering), we lift others. Truth is key to changing our birth culture for the better, when delivered sensitively and intelligently, and let’s face it- with humour where appropriate. I do believe there is the enormous dignity in birth (and I hate it when people dismiss this). I’ve never felt more majestic than during my second labour, but it was still funny when I broke my waters all over my husband’s foot. With a sock on (that seems important, I’m never sure why…).
So over the coming days and weeks we are going to be refreshing the Birth Stories section of the site, PLUS some amazing people are going to be interviewed on video to share their perspectives in a very human way. It’s going to be uplifting, inspiring, entertaining and enlightening. Stick around.
PS- if you’re preggers RIGHT NOW and yet to book your hypnobirthing or pregnancy relaxation course with us, you can do that here.
If you just LOVE THE VIBE and wanna wear the message, shop here for sweaters, Ts, and pins.