To the first time mama starting her maternity leave…

I’ve said it before, plenty of times, but in case you missed it- I LOVE MY JOB. I really look forward to going to work, and supporting my clients. It’s challenging, but in the most positive way.

As I enter my final month of pregnancy, I’m running my last antenatal course this weekend, then 2 other meet ups for my clients are scheduled before baby’s arrival. Plus there’s supporting my existing clients, the planning for my return to teaching in July, I’m revamping my course a bit, have a big event to plan and another project in the pipeline.

In my first pregnancy, I finished at 35 weeks. Done and dusted. Didn’t look back. Maternity leave before baby was a haze of lazy days, practising my hypnobirthing techniques in the pristine nursery, shopping, pampering, eating, relaxing in the garden, seeing friends, reading, watching TV, long baths, eating some more. It was a magical time.

So, get a grip, I hear you say- you’re only ‘working’ a few days out of the month, emails and calls here and there, still plenty of time for rest and treats. But it’s not the work that’s depriving me of the aforementioned experience.

No. It’s toddles. My almost 3 yr old bundle of love and trouble.

In case you were wondering- toddlers don’t care that you’re pregnant. They don’t care about your sore belly (“have some calpol then play with me mummy”). Your exhaustion (“you’ve had a little relax, let’s play running!!”). Your job list. Your hormones. Your plans. Your needs.

Getting him to preschool has never been consistently smooth, and it’s getting worse. I can’t decide if he’s sensing a change and trying harder to stay with me, or whether I’ve lost the mental and physical capacity to get our sh*t together and make it happen.

It’s tough. I mean, what I would give if he would even nap. That stopped a year ago. That was rough. If I could sleep for an hour followed by an hour of peace, I feel maybe I could manage. To practice my relaxation or watch The Walking Dead on catch up.

I’m more aggrieved than ever that we are 3 hours away from my parents, his best pals who he would happily skip off with if they weren’t so selfish as to still be working full time and caring for my grandad…

His behaviour is becoming inexplicable- I giving him what he wants and he’s still breaking down. I’m approaching that special crisis level where mothers considered drugging their children with anti-histamines. Google it. Obviously actually joking. *regretful sigh*

So mama- if you’re about to clock off for your first ‘baby break’ of sorts, cherish this precious experience. Treat yourself like a goddess. Indulge yourself. Rest. Prepare. No matter how many more children you may go on to have, this gorgeous experience is a unique moment in time- enjoy xx

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