One year on…

Candle burning with bokeh effect.

Today marks a year to the day that I lost my baby. A year to the day that I was lying in a hospital bed, separated from my other baby and wondering what the hell had just happened.

I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy but in some ways it was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. I faced many fears that day and I faced them with grace. Yes, I cried uncontrollable tears but there was strength in those tears.

You see, since becoming a mum I have found a new strength. One that trumps all others. I had to have that surgery, I had to have my baby taken from me, I had to stay in hospital- all so that I could come home and be a mum again. It’s the most important job in the world (and, sadly, the most undervalued). I feel honoured every day that I get to be a parent, I feel so proud when I look at my daughter and see the person she is becoming.

So, to all of you wonderful parents out there (whether your children are here on this Earth, whether they live on in spirit or whether they exist as a spark in your imagination)- there is a strength in you, you wouldn’t believe, there is a courage in you, you may not see and there is a love in you, that will burn eternally. Even in the darkest of times, when you feel all is lost, they are all there and they will always be there.

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