Why bitches treat their babies better than we do…

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OK, before I start let me be clear that I am not dividing mums up into bitches and ‘better-than-thou’ counterparts.

No, no, no.

What I am doing is comparing us to dogs, yep that’s the level we’ve reached on the blog this week *face palm*.

But bare with me and it’ll make sense AND be worth your time…

On Sunday, I was setting up the venue for my regular relaxation classes and the lovely gentlemen that opens the building for me was telling me about his daughter’s puppies. Her dog had just given birth and she was settling into motherhood well. He was telling me all about the intricate care that goes into looking after a dog with puppies and one thing he said really struck a chord with me. He said…

“No one is allowed to visit and disturb the dog and her puppies for 4 weeks.”

FOUR WHOLE WEEKS?!?!

I mean, imagine that.

Four weeks uninterrupted to spend bonding with and getting to know your baby.

What do we ‘clever’ humans do instead?

We bough to the social norm and have a barrage of visitors come to see us.

Now, I’m not suggesting that certain visitors might not be very welcome- your mum who ‘mothers’ you, your best friend who you can talk whole-heartedly and honestly to, in other words- people that will actually benefit you with their presence. These people we like. These people we welcome with open arms. We need these people in our lives.

However- what about Great Aunt Greta- she sits on the sofa expecting to be supplied with tea and cake. She makes you feel uncomfortable that your house isn’t sparkling and clean. She asks you that bloody question-

“Is she a good baby?”

At which you point you explode with-

“She’s a baby! Of course she’s good- there’s no such thing as a bad baby, for Christ’s sake!!”

Let’s be honest here and say that she may not be who you need at this particular point in your life (you can see I may have touched on a few unresolved feelings here… note to self- must let go of pent-up anger).

The early postnatal period is physically, emotionally, mentally, everything-ly (shhh, that’s definitely a real word) draining. You don’t need to go through that whilst being ‘viewed’ by distant relatives. Your baby doesn’t need it either. Your baby needs to learn who mum is- to understand how to feed, to communicate in those subtle and not-so-subtle ways (read- screaming at full capacity, until red in the face). All of this happens best when you are in your own environment and able to just be a family.

So, perhaps when it comes to having a baby we should look to our canine friends, perhaps we should be kind to ourselves and just give a little bit of thought about when we see our lovely families. Perhaps delaying those lovely visits until a few weeks later would be best. Perhaps allowing yourself that time would be one of the kindest things to do for yourself and your baby. Listen to your instincts- they’ve got your back!

So, be strong, be kind and rock that postnatal period by ‘doing it like a mother’.

 

If you want a little help dealing with what motherhood throws your way then why not take our Motherhood Mindset Mentoring Programme? Or if you’re pregnant and looking for support then come and join us at one of Pregnancy Relaxation Classes or on one of our Hypnobirthing Courses in Upminster or Southend.

Lots of love,

 

Chloe x

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