Are You Misunderstanding Who You Are?

I’m gonna hazard a guess at, ‘YEP’. 

Do you ever notice yourself thinking, ‘That’s ok for her, but I’m not the kind of person who…’. The kind of person who gets to do something she enjoys. The kind of person who gets to earn good money doing it. The kind of person who gets to travel. To enjoy her kids. To speak her mind. To exercise. To create space for herself. To experience such good luck. I’m not the kind of person who gets to do what she wants.

First of all, with love, how dare you? I wanna really hold you accountable here- this is your LIFE. And do you realise, the chances of you even existing are basically zero? I fricking love this infographic… (I dunno if you will be able to read the small print, click here to go to the source 

Even if you don’t buy those numbers, you have to admit that any opportunity to be alive, and for most of us, in reasonable health as well, is an absolute miracle.

And yet, we are so willing to waste our time, waste our LIVES, spending a really significant proportion of our time doing things that leave us feeling drained, sad, resentful and the rest. You are probably aware of what those things are. But what about the stuff that’s just ‘fine’? Do you even consider that to be an issue? Isn’t that just how life is? Aren’t you lucky NOT to hate every second? Shouldn’t you be grateful???

No. No, no no no, NO. Just no. Contrary to the societal rules we’ve grown up obeying and perpetuating, life is meant to be better than FINE. Better than good, even. “‘Meant’, by whom?”, you ask. I dunno- The Universe? Me? You? Don’t you FEEL that it’s true?

I want you to imagine, for a moment, that instead of growing up ‘knowing’ that HARD work was the route to ‘success’, that performing within a narrow range of areas to the desired standard would unlock your ability to function as an adult in the world, that money is hard to come by, that basically everyone hates their jobs and it’s normal to live for the weekend…

Imagine if, instead of all that, someone told you that what mattered most in life was to follow your joy and your personal genius… that it was ok to make money doing it, and that the fulfilment you would experience when you noticed your impact on other people would be so much more valuable than your certificates. Imagine that someone you admired looked into your childhood eyes and told you this delicious truth, “You are meant to do something truly special. You’re here to change the fabric of the world, in your own unique way. You are important, you matter, and I believe in you. You can be fully yourself and you MUST be, for it to work”.

Thomas Edison, America’s greatest inventor, said, “I remember I used to never be able to get along at school. I was always at the foot (bottom) of the class. I used to feel that the teachers did not sympathize with me, and that my father thought I was stupid.”Later in life, Edison said, “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me: and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.”
Edison supposedly wrote in his diary, “Thomas Alva Edison was an addled child that, by a hero mother, became the genius of the century.”  

On the contrary to this, many women tell me they fear disappointing their families by challenging the limits of what is possible for them. They anticipate being judged for not being satisfied, and they are often right. This isn’t a judgement of our families- we are each doing the best we can with what we know at the time. But imagine, for a second, that we each had a champion like Edison’s mother. You can become that champion for yourself, and it happens most easily as part of a group, who normalise this daring choice for you.

If you want to understand who you really are, what’s really available to you, underneath all of the layered on limits you’ve internalised over a life time, there are 2 steps.

  1. Acknowledge that there are elements of your life that are not panning out as per your preference. 
  2. Believe that change is possible for you.

Then, you put one foot in front of the other, tiny step, by tiny step, until gradually, and then suddenly, life feels pretty different. Life is happening on purpose, rather than be default. You are consciously creating and curating your existence, rather than tolerating what you’ve imagined is your lot.

Here’s the kicker… If you tolerate this, then your children will be next.

I’ll leave you with the Manic Street Preachers playing in your head for the rest of the day as a helpful reminder.

Meet me in the Work Like A Mother group for the FREE THRIVE CHALLENGE EXPERIENCE starting on Monday. You need to sign up for the prompts HERE.

PS I’m giving one scholarship space on the paid Thrive Like A Mother programme based on challenge participation, deets in the group. 

#doitlikeamother #worklikeamother #thrivelikeamother

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