The Do It Like a Mother Team
This growing community was founded in 2013 (formerly HypnoBirthdays) by Keri Jarvis. Chloe Mulholland joined in 2017, and in 2019, Chloe Westmore and Chloe Thompson-Booth came on board.
Yep. We LOVE a Chloe. If your name is Chloe there is a significant chance you will work with us one day…
Mindfulness was added to our roster in 2019 with the lovely Natalie and in early 2020, Clare Martin and Charli Davies took the reins from Keri.
charli davies, co-owner
Hi there!! I’m Charli and I’m going to jump straight in and get this out of the way first. I’m Northern. A Yorkshire lass, although I’ve moved around so much since I was 18 you may just about miss my northern twang, maybe.
You may think this strange but my first taste of parenthood was as a 7 year old when my little brother was born. He was the brother I’d been wanting for ages & with my mum (I won’t say only or just as she was more than enough to be 2 parents) to take care of us, I made it my mission to teach my brother everything I knew and be the best sister I could ever be. I also wanted to help my mum as much as possible.
When I was 16 I gained 3 half brothers when I was told who my real dad was. This was a pivotal part of my life and my family’s when I not only gained a whole new extended family but I learned a lot about myself. It was and has been hard to navigate but I wouldn’t change any of it because it makes me who I am.
With nursing and support in various guises on both sides of my family from my grandparents to my aunts & uncles and my parents, support and parenting has been woven into my life from a very young age and so buying DILAM with the awesome Clare needed very little thought.
I have an 18 month old girl and 9 year old boy. Both test my patience at times but I could eat both of them up in one mouthful too. I’m well aware of the equal amounts of love and despair a child can bring. At 23 I was sucked into the IVF process when I donated some of my eggs to one of my cousins. A process I look back on with equal amounts of love and hate.
I’ve worked in the media for many years having started out training as a Broadcast Journalist. I ended up in business management at the BBC as supporting my colleagues and encouraging others are part of who I am. I’m also no stranger to business having started a kids company many moons ago and also owning another business built around adult sleep. That first business didn’t quite fit with a new baby, working full time and studying for a second degree in business and childhood studies. What it did teach me was we can have it all, just not all at the same time.
My family & work life have taught me a whole lot about mental health, care, support, openness, being real and allowing everyone to be who they want to be. I want to bring this to DILAM in as many ways as possible to support all parents and their children as we all navigate this thing called parenthood.
I look forward to meeting you and having a chat over a cuppa.
clare martin, co-owner
I have always wanted to make a difference. Ever since I was an avid Blue Peter viewer and signed up to every single appeal going (Bring & Buy Sales were my personal favourite), I’ve had this NEED to support and help people. It’s probably my biggest downfall if I’m honest.
I’m a journalist by trade, but switched to marketing (THE DARK SIDE) after realising that journalism wasn’t really my bag and I once again, felt the calling to help people. This time it was mums and dads, starting their own businesses so they could escape the chaotic world of full time work to pursue their dreams of working for themselves.
I fell into the Do It Like a Mother Community when I was pregnant with my now four-year-old son Ollie and am so happy to say I’ve found “My Tribe”. I can surround myself with the wonderful people I’ve met through DILAM and know I’ll never be judged and will always be supported.
I’ve had a few very difficult years adjusting to motherhood, diagnosed with postnatal depression and anxiety three years after the birth of my son and trying to get the balance between working and parenthood just right. But it’s made me realise the importance of having my own support network and self-care.
I believe that everyone should be able to make their own choices, whether that’s how to feed their baby, where to give birth, which school their child goes to or what they do with their career. I feel it is our duty as a community to offer choices and encourage people to think for themselves, rather than being pressured into doing “this or that”.
I’ve recently become Enterprise Ambassador for a school in the area and feel that my responsibility to them isn’t just about helping them decide what to do with their life or enter the world of work, but the help them understand that they hold the keys to their future and therefore, they can make choices for themselves rather than being told what to do by parents, teachers, peers or anyone else.
And when the opportunity to acquire Do It Like a Mother came up with the lovely Charli Davies, how could I say no?
We are so excited to continue the wonderful work Keri and the Do It Like A Mother team have started and make it a hub for everything from pregnancy to childhood, supporting all the mums, dads and children in Essex (and perhaps one day, beyond).
We want to make it an all inclusive place for anyone to come and learn about their choices in the world, whether that’s in pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, parenthood, childhood or even into adulthood.
chloe mulholland (Private antenatal education and doula support)
So, where to start? Well from the beginning I suppose; Born in Newham, brought up in Upminster. From a family of cockneys, I am a Londoner at heart but love a breath of fresh country air.
After a couple of forays into a microbiology degree and a stint working for the emergency services, I found my true calling and became a midwife. I did my 3 years of training with Kings’ College, London and graduated with First-Class Honours in 2012.
That was over 6 years ago now and during that time I have had my eyes opened to the immense power of birth. A transformative, yet vulnerable time in a family’s life. And a time that I am determined to make better for as many families as I can. Of course- I had a baby of my own too (her birth story is here, if you’d like to know how that went down) and that only continued to add to the magnitude of my own transformation as woman in this modern world.
Unfortunately, working as a midwife within the NHS wasn’t the dream I had hoped it would be. It was preventing me from looking after families in the way they truly deserved. I felt forced into carrying out one medical procedure, after the next, with no time left to listen to women and really give them the true care and attention they needed. Over time, constantly feeling able unable to serve families took its toll on me and I burnt out. I was emotionally frazzled and felt completely lost.
Thankfully, I am surrounded by an amazing support network and I managed to find my feet again. I wasn’t going to let a failing system get me down, my dream was to make birth better for as many families as I possibly could and that is exactly what I intend to do.
I am now offering bespoke, one-to-one support for expectant parents. I offer private antenatal classes and also doula support, for anyone that wants my in-person support at the birth of their baby and in the days that follow. I’ll be there reminding you of what a wonderfully, powerful human being you are and showing you that all the strength you needed was already within you.
I am also dedicated to improving maternity care on a wider scale, too. I am part of my local Maternity Voices Partnership and I am active member of the campaign Make Birth Better. My legacy will be that our daughters look forward to birthing their babies, instead of fearing it, they will truly know their own power and the world will be a better place for it.
CHLOE M'S blog
If you’ve ever had a baby then I can pretty much guarantee that you’ve heard at least one of the following: “You’re getting so big!”
This is Lauren’s story. Her first baby unfortunately passed away at just 22 weeks, she then went on to have another baby girl a year
There are many thoughts that run through your mind as a pregnant parent. And you may find that one of the big themes of those
Chloe Westmore (Infant Massage and Baby Brunch Southend)
Born and raised in beautiful Leigh-on-Sea, I still live here with my husband Tom and my two gorgeous daughters Delilah & Aida. I have a degree in English & Drama, and trained in the performing arts from an early age. I enjoyed a few years working in the industry, however as the bills kept rolling in and the auditions slowed down, I became dependant on more regular work. When I fell pregnant with my first little girl, I decided to look into hypnobirthing and was self taught. I managed to have a wonderful birthing experience despite complications, but I realised pretty quickly how transformative yet terrifying becoming a newborn mother was. There were plenty of tears and many a day and night of feeling utterly alone and out of my depth. I remember feeling powerful at my ability to give birth to such a perfect little creature, but felt completely vulnerable and unprepared for motherhood, especially in those precious but exhausting early weeks. Due to financial problems, I had to return to work when Delilah was 5 months old, which was necessary but unfulfilling.
Fast forward 4 years and another pregnancy with daughter number 2 and I felt completely different. I wanted to build my own business doing something that I loved that incorporated my passions, whilst enabling me to be at home with my baby. And that’s when I met Keri. I started attending her Pregnancy Relaxation evenings and straight away I not only felt relaxed in her presence, but always left the classes feeling invigorated. Those special evening really illustrated just how powerful women can be, especially when they’re lifted up and supported by one another. I had the most amazing birth experience with Aida and through self education on postpartum care, I even enjoyed those special but hectic first weeks getting to know my baby.
That was my lightbulb moment! I had realised I was passionate about supporting and encouraging ‘newborn mothers’ and their babies in their parenthood journey.
When Keri approached me about joining her Do It Like A Mother team, I seized the opportunity and decided to train under the incredible Peter Walker, an internationally renowned physical therapist who has worked with babies, children and parents for nearly 40 years. Combining my experiences of motherhood with a qualification as a Development Baby Massage teacher, I hope to encourage and equip new parents with the skills and confidence to communicate with their child using the language of loving touch and therapeutic play. The benefits will be seen instantly and I can’t want to meet all of you incredible mummys and mummys to be. xxx
CHLOE W'S blog
Chloe THOMPSON-BOOTH (Emotional wellbeing)
I am a mother (to my lovely [most of the time] toddler), lover of mothers, and wellbeing warrior; fiercely passionate about supporting and promoting emotional wellbeing in parents. I have worked as a Psychologist for nearly 10 years, initially in Child Development research and later training as a Clinical Psychologist.
My training involved working in a variety of services across London, ranging from child to adult mental health, sexual health and psychosexual therapy, dementia services, and paediatrics. However, I soon developed a specialist interest in perinatal mental health, conveniently around the same time that I found out I was expecting my son.
I started running groups to treat anxiety in expectant parents as part of a research project, which I absolutely loved doing – it was amazing to be able to support women and their partners as they made their journey into parenthood.
During my own pregnancy I was lucky enough to meet the awesome Keri Jarvis when I completed her amazing Hypnobirthing course. When Keri said she was looking to expand her team, I jumped at the chance! I feel very fortunate to be part of a team of wonderful women who are using their various talents to support mothers (& partners!) in a variety of ways.
I am so excited to begin my work offering Emotional Wellbeing Workshops for mothers; these groups are designed to offer support and resources for promoting psychological wellbeing and resilience in the postnatal period.
Because, let’s face it, being a parent is as hard as it is wonderful, and we could all do with a wellbeing boost at times?! I am so looking forward to meeting and working with lots of lovely Mums and sharing my top tips for wellbeing in Motherhood.
CHLOE T-B'S blog
NATALIE CAHILLANE (MEDITATION TEACHER)
NATALIE CAHILLANE (MEDITATION TEACHER)
Hey, i’m Natalie, a new Mum (well new-ish mum) to Frankie (now 16 months), wife (to Joe), mediator & meditation evangelist, ‘creative’ (couldn’t face not putting ‘air quotes’ on this, but it’s shorthand for what’s been a big part of my career as a Creative Lead / director / strategist, designer, picture researcher / editor & copywriter), intuitive eater in training, non drinker (coming up 4 years now), almost vegan (how is there milk powder in eeeeverything?), and general all round mental wellness enthusiast who bloody loves her coffee.
Goodness that was a list and a half and it’s a list that reads as far ‘holier than thou’ then the reality of my life. True talk – my enthusiasm for the world of ‘mental wellness’ was born out of necessity. Depression and anxiety have been part of my life since my teenage years. At first I didn’t know what it was or why it was there, I had no language for it, then overtime I learnt how to acknowledge its presence, then gradually how to talk about it, slowly how to not fight it then how not to hold on to it too much, and finally to accept it and work with it. Don’t be fooled though, this is a journey that started some 20+ years ago and is still very much a ‘work in progress’.
But it’s been through all this that my love for meditation was born. I began mediating 9 years ago at the Bethnal Green Buddhist Centre – I wasn’t instantaneous but within a few weeks I was hooked and went on to try out as many different practices as I could find the years; transcendental to silent retreats I lapped it up. This culminated in my training to teach meditation (MBSR mindfulness based stress reduction to be specific) which brings me here.
I’m a big believer in having a ‘tool kit’ to help you deal with the trials and tribulations of life and never has this been as relevant as in the transition to parenthood. Whether you’re trying for child, newly pregnant, planning the birth, or entering parenthood; being able to confidently face the thoughts and feelings that arise allows for you move through this period with less resistance. Meditation is the practice of strengthening the mind and even in short daily bursts it can have dramatic effects, with countless scientific papers confirming its ability to lowering stress levels, (as well as reducing the inflammation in the body caused by stress), promote better quality sleep, help control and manage pain, increase kindness and positively affect relationships as well as improving concentration.
There are many types of meditation practice and I will be bringing a number of them to Do It Like Mother over the rest 2019 / 2020, but I find it’s always best to start at the beginning, as such I’m currently offering a 6 weekly course introducing the mindfulness of breathing and the cultivation of loving kindness. The course blends a mix of MBSR (mindful based stress reduction) techinques, with the science of whats happening in our minds when we do it. And the combination of these two practices aims to bring a deeper awareness and empathy to your journey as a parent (prospective or current) or just as a person navigating modern-day life; allowing you the space for greater compassion towards yourself and others as you go.
I can’t wait to meet you all for some lovely quiet time – eeek.a big
Sally Neale (full antenatal course)
Hi, I’m Sally, one of DILAM’s hypnobirthing teachers.
I’d heard of hypnobirthing whilst pregnant with my first baby, but decided it sounded all a bit too ‘woo-woo’ for my liking, so opted to do the standard antenatal classes. After a straightforward but stressful labour, I realised how hugely unprepared I had been and really didn’t have much understanding about what my body was doing during labour.
With my second baby, I read about women having these incredible birth experiences which they described as calm, peaceful, enjoyable even, I really wanted to know more.
I attended a course run by Hollie de Cruz, a wonderful hypnobirthing teacher who spoke about birth in a way I had never heard before. Even my sceptical husband was sold on it! We dedicated time to practising the techniques we were taught, and doing all we could to ensure we were prepared for whatever birth threw our way.
The birth of my second baby (who turned out to be a 10lb 8oz whopper!) was an incredible experience. My husband knew his role and how he could support me, I knew exactly what my body was doing and how to work with it, rather than against it. I felt like an absolute superwoman by the time he was born, and I knew straight away that I needed to help other women feel this way.
As soon as I could, I completed my diploma in hypnobirthing and then attended one of Hollie’s teacher training courses and now teach her syllabus, the Yes Mum Birth Project.
My teaching focusses on the preparation for birth, whether that looks like a home-birth, an elective abdominal birth or anything in between. I take a modern approach to teaching women and their birth partners and we cover what to expect, how to prepare and how to approach any unexpected circumstances, as well as the days and weeks following baby’s birth.
I love working with the team at Do It Like a Mother, as we have the shared goal of empowering women with all the information they need to have a calm and positive experience for birth and parenthood.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sally teaches our full antenatal course.
Faye Southey (birth basics antenatal course)
Hi, I’m Faye. Mama to two wild ones, positive birth believer, houseplant enthusiast, creative soul and overall a loveable potty mouth.
Beyond birth, I have a huge interest in women’s health and love to chat about menstrual cycles, bodies, mental health, sex education, inclusion, birth rights…the list goes on. I believe that conversations like these need to be opened up so that we can make positive moves in these areas. (Spoiler alert, I am not afraid to use the word vagina in conversation!)
I have spent a lot of my life in Surrey, working within the world of disability and inclusion, with a focus on autism. Work that is heart driven, and which has given me the opportunity to work with so many wonderful people. It is a gift that keeps giving, and one where I have learned SO much. Although I have now stepped away from that area of work, it has moulded who I am, how I see the world and the approach I take to everything in my path.
I took a break from my career in 2015 to have my first baby. New motherhood was beautiful, but also overwhelmingly isolating at times. I was fortunate to meet a group of women during the newborn days who are now good friends, and we all agree that without each other in those early days it would have been so much harder. Community is EVERYTHING when you birth a babe!
As life evolved, so did my circumstances, and after 12 years of living in Surrey, I left my career and returned to Essex to be closer to family as another baby was on the way. Sadly, not long after the move, we lost the baby. Another experience in my life that has shaped how I navigate the world around me. Through a heartbreaking experience came strength and huge shifts in my mindset.
Fortunately, I became pregnant again later that year which led to my son being born.
So where does hypnobirthing come in to all of this? Well…I used hypnobirthing with my second birth after a first birth that I truly believe could have been navigated completely differently had I been informed and had known my rights.
I approached my second birth wholly empowered, clear on my rights and ready to use all of my tools & techniques to work with my body and baby, and do it on MY terms.
I stepped in to my power. Awoke my inner lioness. And birthed like a badass.
After that, the world shifted once again and I finally found myself pursuing the dream that had been imagined all those years ago. Building my own business, supporting women, challenging current systems and empowering others to do the same. Using everything that I have learned and lived through to guide me.
I feel privileged to hold space as I do right now in my work, and love meeting new people who are ready to step in to their power. Because that is what this work is. Empowering others to smash limiting beliefs and refocus attention on their capabilities. And open up and continue those conversations that are so desperately needed in this world.
And here I am now, holding space at DILAM too with my hypnobirthing Birth Basics course that can change up your whole approach to birth. I can’t wait to meet you…